Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Culinary Smackdown: Battle TOFU!!

Boxer-Babe is hostess wif' the twinkle in her eye--as this month's Culinary Smackdown, she done LOL send us'uns off on Battle Tofu.

Well, honestly? Tofu. Uncle woan do tofu. He say it ain't fit fer dawgs. (sorry B-Babe)

Hey!! Wait! "Ain't fit fer dawgs"?

I got it I got it I got it!!!

Tofu fer Henry--oh mah heavens!!

Hit google, find recipe fer Tofu jerky dawg treat. These dog treat makers fed their tofu dawgy treat to ROWAN who looks none the worse fer eatin' tofu treats:

Henry, youse MUCH cuter than Rowan!

An' it's easy too. But it takes a few hours, a dehydrator ( I used a warming drawer) an' a lab dawg fer the experiment.

Tofu Jerky

2 lbs. firm or extra firm tofu (sounds like a mattress)
1 cup liquid smoke
3 cups reduced sodium soy sauce
3 Tbsp. blackstrap molasses or maple syrup

(see photo at top fer the ingredients--I jes' used standard pancake syrup))

Press the water out of the tofu as much as you can and cut it into ¼ inch slabs. Mix the liquid smoke, soy sauce and molasses or maple syrup together and pour it over the tofu (a 9 x 13 inch pan works great for this). Let it sit overnight. Take the strips out of the marinade and lightly pat dry. Put them in a dehydrator at 160 degrees for about 8 hours, until they are dark brown and chewy. If you do not have a dehydrator, you can put them in the oven on the lowest setting (200 degrees or less). Spread them on cookie sheets and bake them for 6 to 8 hours. Store in a cool, dry area. Any leftover marinade can be stored in the fridge and reused.

Okaaaay, I can do this:

First problem--the tofu breaks easily when ya' try to pick it up, so the 1/4" "slabs" break into chips iffin' y'aint careful.

Soak it overnight an' tell Boxer-babe how relieved ya is that she extended the deadline on account of this bein' a two day project!

Second trouble? Gag--the 8 hours of soy sauce bakin' away in the warmin' drawer --not appetizin', folks.

But muster on Aunty' see? Yep, that soy sauce smoke blackened tofu is in the white' soup bones fer Aunty's Stone Soup is above it....y'all tell me:

What does ya think the dawg will want? Oh? Doan even let the dawg see the Stone Soup bones?

Uncle say, "Rub that tofu dawg jerky against that red meat, then Ole Dawg will eat the stuff."

Here's to ya' Henry!!

If yore Mama will send her address Aunty will send ya' some tofu dawgy treat to eat when she's wolfin' down her Tofu Delight.

( fer the record, ain't no reason I can see that a human couldn't eat this jerky iffin' she's of a mind to.)


Karl said...

Good evening Aunty Belle,

Great post! Hope you didn't have to clean the oven.

Yea a human could eat it. But why?

Boxer said...

bwahahahahah. YES! What a great idea. You are most creative and I really, really appreciate that you went to so much work. You send that right along to the tree hugging, prius driving Hippie land of the pacific northwest and we'll give it a good home. :-)

moi said...

Aunty, this is brilliant! I'm just laughing, laughing, laughing at how clever you are. So did your lab dawg eat 'em? You should send some to Rowan, too, who is mighty cute.

Grumpy Granny said...

OMG, that is amazing. I might have to try that for our picky little dog. I might use some chicken broth, too. Hmmmm.

GG is off to think on this some more...

Intuitive Eggplant said...

Grrrrhahahahahaha. Next time try marinating the tofu jerkey in Bourbon Barrel Soy Sauce from Kentucky ( before you rub 'em against them Stone Soup bones? Might make the house smell better at least:)

BlazngScarlet said...

Aunty, you're a GENIUS!

I hope all is well on the Porch and Uncle is feeling better.
Been thinking 'bout you! =)

LaDivaCucina said...

Aahahahahaaa! What a great idea! Looks like they turned out too. Did doggy eat them in in the end? Very orginal, Aunty! Well done and "A" for effort!

Buzz Kill said...

Stone soup was a favorite book I remember from my childhood. I didn't know it was real. You also get an "A" for abstract because I never would have come up with tofu jerky.