Forsooth!
Some folks of our acquaintance doan have no favorite Christmas book--how can it be?? Not even How The Grinch Stole Christmas? See comments to post on Front Porch where Boxer an' Moi be in need of a good book to brighten the week a'fore Christmas.
Aunty invites y'all to help write a book fer Boxer and Moi!! We can do it!
Jes' write some lines to be included in our Blogger Christmas Book, usin' the style of Dr. Seuss' How The Grinch Stole Christmas :
Every Who
Down in Who-ville
Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch,
Who lived just North of Who-ville,
Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For, tomorrow, he knew...
...All the Who girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
( y'all DO have a copy of the book, right???)
We's got a whole week, youse nuthin' else to do
So write us some lines fer these bookless two!
Be silly! Be sly, Be coy,
Why not a book -
instead of a toy?
We need ALL blogger folk to add to our mirthjes' follow that chuckle-y fellow of famous girth
Please git yore lines in by December 23rd,
Of yore excuses I won't hear nary a word!
Between Christmas cookies to bake
or presents to rattle an' shake
scribble a line or two-- or ten
( the doggerel improves wif' gin!)
I'se countin' on y'all, ya' know this is so
doan tell me ya's busy shovelin' snow,
To the keyboards dash, now git ye!
Oh! what a marvel this book will be!!
*
33 comments:
..."that's one thing he hated the noise, noise, noise!"....
there was foam who sniffled and sneezed >:|
plus, she kept blowing her nose up her sleave!!
she glared at her tree who she blamed on her woes.
she thought she might kick it but she had gout in her toes ..... :-) (okay, who's next?)
perhaps should say "on her sleave"...
What a delightful idea, Aunty! Although, you will most probably have to run around to everyone's blog and corral them. But there's literary talent galore in this pool, I just know it . . .
(Sorry you're feeling so poorly Foam, but at least it makes for good rhyme!)
I don't understand this project, never read Dr. Seuss and don't recall ever having read any sort of Christmas book.
Uhmmm... The old movie "Smoke" has a Christmas story in it. Maybe they can watch that. Yes, Harvey Keitel is in it, but, thankfully, he doesn't get nekkid.
Uh, is Troll a grinch?
Good afternoon Dear Aunty,
Your idea is quite neet. For Moi and for Boxer it should be a treat.
Handing Foamy a tissue and a glass of good cheer. Have a rest my dear, I'll take it from here.
Some back ground you see for Grinch's terrible mood. It’s not only the noise that bends his ear. It’s all the false hope that the media does smear. Go out and buy! Comes from far and from near. Even the government is backing this cheer. A healthy economy do not retail make. The Grinch he knows this and here is his take. For things to be good you must build in your land and pay as you go. Every light made in China each bobble and blink as part of what’s causing Whoville to stink. Many don’t like it the message too hard. The things are found in your own back yard.
Now Troll add a bit you take it from here.
good one, Karl!
Foamy!!
Ya kicked things off to a grand start--why Sugar, I'se most grateful. Gout in her toes? That IS a woe--hope it ain't truly akshully so. Please add more if youse of a mind--no limits an' art is welcome too!
Moi!
Yes I may have to round them up, but fell free to tag one an all---an doan be shy, add yore own verse or many to egg folks on!
( Maybe we can git Chick9 to sketch some of the scenes--want a picture book, doan ya'?)
Troll-Man
WHA'???? Not possible-- we knows you ain't a childhood deprived Troll. Ain't ya heered of
Green Eggs and Ham? The Cat in the Hat? Fox in Socks?
( I do not like green eggs and ham, Sam I am)
It cain't be that the onliest boyhood book Troll's have is Three Billy Goats Gruff.
Fer goodness sake, ya gotta be puttin' us on...
Anon,
well, goodness--let's hope he's jes' kiddin' us--no matter, as Haiku MAster, Basho can easily Seuss thangs up, I reckon.
Karl, Sir Fair!
Howling' funny an very very good--how like ya' to come to Foamy's rescue--yes mah dear, Karl done ya' proud wif that witty good natured riposte. Thanky fer the clevah play, Good Sir. Please come back as the book gathers verses...
no gout.. however the sinus yucks are real..
Your blog is back!
Question
is the form to be a Grinch story or about bloggers in Grinch rhyme pattern?
OHHHH! Thank you Aunty. I didn't know Moi and I shared the same non-Christmas story childhood. I'll be back to add my own. I just returned from a weekend with family and I went right into a long week of working in the shop. But you are a lovely person for doing this. xoxoxo
Ooooh, not sure anyone can top Karl! That sums up Mr. Grinch in a nutshell. I will go another route.
Wide eyed and innocent, Cindy Lou Who is one who believes. Doesn't matter if she is young or old, there is one day a year when she is special indeed. And it doesn't stop there! Cindy Lou Who knows she will help her family feel loved with care. Because she knows in her heart that it isn't what gifts she is given, the biggest gift is what you see on the faces of others, whether they are aged ninety or seven!
A Christmas Challenge
T’is the season of Christmas and bloggers are busy,
Sharing secrets with famly and wrapping ‘til dizzy.
Strings are alight and goodies are baking,
Special decorations Boxer is making.
Delivering cheer, Karl flies through the skies.
Even the Troll-grinch has crinkly eyes.
To ensure new tradition Belle lights the way
For a new Christmas story to share on the day.
On Fleur and Fishy, Curmudgeon and Scout,
Take up the refrain and shout it right out.
Add your chapters to Pam, Karl, and Miz Belle.
We know you can do it, and do it so well.
C’mon Rafa, Chick’ry, Eggy and Czar.
Y’all can chime in if you’re near or you’re far.
Who will be blogging on Christmas eve night
To make Moi and Boxer sparkle so bright?
I still can't do this rhyme scheme but I have a GREAT Christmas Book recommendation for Moi and Boxer.
Hogfather by Terry Pratchett!
Troll, if you can Haiku, you can Seuss.
Re-word a old Christmas carol.
You caint blame a fellow for hatin' on noise
for frowning upon electronic toys
the endless loops of holiday ads
gave Grinch a fat case of the seasonal mads
no riding bikes or throwing balls
instead theyre out stuffing the glittering malls
melamine gimcracks shipped in from the East
and GMO schizz mucken up the big feast
(nevermind - its christmas - let it go for a day or two....)
Grinch went to Jawja to the forest north
and he and ol' Chickory ventured forth
into deep green hemlock and piney woods
finding treasures for gifting goods
tiny sweet gum balls will make a fine wreath
and they chopped a small fir to put gifts underneath
The hens gave their eggs and they whipped up a batter
a cookie can cure whatever's the matter
the Grinch settled into the cushy "dog chair"
and Chickory told jokes with her usual flair
Soon Grinch was laughing and rolling so merry
and only slowed down to eat cobbler of berry
"Now I like Christmas" declared the Mean Green
"Away from the noise - yeah, this is the scene
no parking lots or perfume squirts
no honey baked hams or tacky shirts
no chia pets, no TVs and no freaken Wii
Just the chicks and the dogs and you and me"
Chickory winked and said with a smile
"Im glad you came, and you can stay for a while.
But soon you must leave cause I need my space
This is a one little woman kind of place"
Foamy!
No Gout?? Thas' a mercy--jes' poetic license huh? Luvin' yore contribution.
Anon,
no, it doan have to be ABOUT the Grinch--but it can be--jes' the rhyme scheme of Dr. Seuss, of which the Grinch is most seasonal.
Boxer-Babe!!
Why shure Sweet Thang--youse our dear soul anaa' ya must, ya' jes' must have a Christmas book of yore own!!
An'.... ya is invited to pen a line or two fer Moi to add to the book.
Merry Merry!!
Pam OKC
Thas' the spirit!! Wunnerful rhymes an' sweet thoughts--who wouldn't luv it? Lucky Moi an' B-Babe.
Serendipity!!
Hey! Wow--ya went whole hawg--hoo-whee, thas' a delight. I hope ya can herd all them laggards over here afore the book closes--thanky so much fer playin' wif' us--ain't it fun??
Anon
hee hee.
Anon
Double hee hee
Chick 9!!
Oh thas' jes' too ripe--ya charm us all wif' that delightful rif. But, now looky heah, iffin' ya' can convert ole Mean Green, I has a few folks to send yore way--mayhap a whole new bidness is openin' up. Grrrrrhahahaha!
Boxer-Babe an' Moi Cherie
I hopes ya's secretly chickin' over heah to git a sneak peek at how yore book is developin'--fun fun fun!!!!
So fun, thank you all!
Auntie, I'm staring down some mighty tight deadlines, but will be back with a line or two soon!
Online babes come in styles so cheery and bright --
Each with some story to pass the long night.
As each solstice passes, Google’s adclicks present
Evermore answers to gents’ lonely laments.
Vietnamese brides; no, make mine Russian!
Foxes in Appalachia, maybe they’re cousins!
Hot Bristol moms awaiting czarist pursuit,
But when considering alternatives, the point becomes moot.
Well, first there’s the czarina, whose presence no doubt
Renders impossible the czar’s stepping out.
And then there’s reluctance on czar’s part; it’s true.
One dame’s quite enough; no need for two.
But if the czar’s blind eyes ever decided to wander,
he’d look at this blog circle and start fixin’ to ponder.
Then intimidation sets in; czar limps back to the dungeon,
Like a confused genealogist tracking down a Melungeon.
Boxer and Moi: What can one say
About two women who blow me away?
They seem to know everything, and that’s quite a lot,
And they can do everything, which I assuredly cannot.
So these Christmas verses herald not Boxer and Moi,
But Mr. and S.B., who deserve a huzzah
For engaging these lovelies in a lifetime of bliss.
Keep it up, guys. Find that mistletoe and . . .
The Grinch was acting quite grumpy
Every nerve all twitchy and jumpy.
There was no mistletoe kissing
Since his spirit was missing.
His face once more was pinchy,
From feeling so greenly grinchy.
When asked," What is your issue?"
He promptly reached for a tissue.
Aunty was summoned to give help
Tapping her foot at each new yelp
" Be quiet!", she declared
" You are acting impaired!
Stop all this drivel
Not even one more snivel!"
She studied him astutely
Observing quite acutely.
The Grinch was feeling woe!
Something had dealt him a blow!
"Oh Grinch! What is the reason
You are joyless this season?
Is your hat too tall?
Your gloves too small?"
"NO Aunty not at all,
not too tall or too small.
It's that Boxer you see
Who did this to me"
"Boxer!" cried Aunty in sheer disbelief,
" Why, she cannot be your dealer of Grief.
You must be mistaken,
Your wits forsaken!"
It's her Aunty, that Boxer is crafty!
Gone and made my heart drafty.
No glitter, no glue, no movie of me!
Oh no! It's just Coco we see,see,see,SEE!
Ahhhh! The crux of the matter
Envy was making those eyes splatter.
" Now Grinch don't despair.
A big secret I'll share.
In just another week,
With your agent she'll speak".
" A movie of me!
What shall I be?
Do you yet know the story?
Will I be covered in glory?"
Aunty shrugged and gave him a pat
Returning his smile and tapping his hat.
For now she would be quiet
Avoiding another huge riot.
No need to define this new part;
Dog toy a la carte!
@Fishy: Wonderful transition.
“I know what I’ll do,”
Said the Grinch with a grin.
“I’ll get all lawyered up
and stop this Christmastime sin.”
These are great contributions!
I have a story to add that has somewhat fractured rhymes and free-form stanzas, but is a story that wrote itself this way. It is an inspiration for this season or any other. I chose the pseudonym for obvious reasons - it is short for Gracious Lady.
The Un-Grinch
I’ll call her Grace the Un-Grinch, though that’s not her name
Don’t want to give her unwanted fame.
Here’s a lady who provides quite a model
For anyone else who is too old to toddle.
Seventy-nine and on the move;
She came to here with nothing to prove.
A white haired lady still tending her son,
Profoundly disabled, but bright as the sun.
With others like him he did finally settle.
With him she came; she showed her great mettle
To come here alone in the midst of a flood
And take an apartment in a less than good ‘hood.
This lady who came from far to the south never had snow,
And about real winter weather she did not know.
Nonetheless, she learns, and here she lives now,
A part of the community she is – and how!
At eighty she helps others to her own sacrifice
And she never complains not once and not twice.
To her delight, now in time for the holiday
She has found a new home away from fray.
Now her neighbors don’t get busted by cops
And she thinks her new neighborhood is just tops.
The big snow came after her move: great luck!
But her furniture lost some parts in the truck.
For Christmas I made her an evergreen spray
And it was exquisite our first frosty day.
So excited she was when she saw it, like a child,
Just so happy; I stood there and smiled.
And to help her settle into the new place
I have fixed a few things for the smile on her face.
Selfless, patient, helpful, and kind
We need more like her, I’m of a mind.
Grace brightens lives regardless of the season,
And she generally does it without special reason.
The Un-Grinch is a tribe that should hurry and grow,
There is no need to wait for more snow.
Anyone can join and add to the fun; provide care,
Or lend a hand, give a smile, or encouragement share.
Happy Holidays everyone - whichever holiday you are celebrating.
Serendipity
@Czar: Nah, nah, you know what I can't do? Come up with rhyme like that. Nice! I can't even scare up four lines. I bow to your superior limerick-ing skills. And, having met the Czarina/Know why you walk the line-ah.
@Fishy: That is utterly brilliant!
@Serendipity: Sweet. Gracious Lady sounds like she could teach a thing or two.
I am utterly humbled and nearly blumbering. What talent. What creativity. Aunty!! Thank you. Cxar? you break my heart and Fishy needs to re-think her profession. Serendipity? what don't you do well? :-) what an amazing gift to share with my pal, Moi.
I am so lucky. So.Very, lucky.
*snif* bless you all. I now have a Christmas Story.
Wow! These are all great! What a treat
to read these. This christmas story is sure to please!
I cannot add anything to this awesome post. All I want to say is "Joyeux Noël" to you Aunty and offer you my best wishes for the new year!
I took down the tree
a job that I dread.
Uh-oh! I said jerking my head
There's the cat in the hat
that was turning quite red
"This isn't much fun
there is work to be done."
"You think I can't work?
You know that I can."
Then he picked up the tree
and away the cat ran.
I Yelled, "Thanks" with some glee
as he popped out of sight
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night.
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